Q: Should my husband keep giving money to his Mom even if we cannot afford it?
A: I just had a baby, and my husband and I have been living in my parent’s house for the last 6 months. My husband is the only one working, so even if we want to move out, we cannot get approved to get our own apartment. Despite all these, my husband still gives money to his mother even if I feel we cannot afford to. He thinks since he is the one working then he can do with the money whatever it is he wants to. I feel this is not helping our situation.
For us Filipinos, family always comes first before anything else. I have helped plenty of our countrymen get out of debt for this sole reason alone. These are debts incurred for someone else. But do we stop considering our families as family the moment we get married? It is an unfortunate situation to put someone to a choice of picking his own family from that of the family that went through everything in life in order to raise them. Some would say it is unfair to do so. But there is a saying that when we get married, we are now bounded with our own family and that should come first. Others say, I can always get a different wife but I will always only have one mother. I would hate to put myself in this spot but it seems you are faced with making a choice.
From my standpoint you only have two options. You can either negotiate with your husband to change his ways by sending less money or you can tell him to move back with his mother.
If you are really not making it, you can seek government programs or aid for financial assistance. You may qualify for some benefits you may not know about.
The only money you and your husband have coming in is what your husband makes and this may not cut it for all your expenses so moving out is not a sensible plan for now. Depending on how long your parents are willing to let you stay in their house is up to them but just as much as you want your husband to stop giving money to his former family, means the same for you. Look for ways to make money on your own so you won’t have to depend on him 100%. Life is what you make out of it. Good luck with your situation.
Ating lesson, Ito angpagaasawa, di parangkaninnamainit, pagnapaso ay iyongiluluwa.
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